Such thing always happen don't they... When you get too close to someone, it's just difficult to maintain it... Yeahhh... It feels like I finally understand why they don't favour you that much... When she finally open up, it feels like I'm being a close friend but after that we're playing strangers... Like as if we're just acquaintances... Too much hiprocacy there... I dunno if I trust you too quickly to tell you what I'm not supposed to say but I just have to get it off my chest since you shared about her... It feels like you've got a camera on you... Someone's been watching whatever you do and then that B**** would tell on you... Each time she made that eye contact on you, it felt SUPER inferior mannn... IT's like I owe you my life... And don't you know it's rude to stare? Just my luck to be partners with her whom I couldn't get along with... When she notice that I was being close to another friend, she'd maintain a distance... And all of a sudden, they started talking and it felt like a fool... Nvm do whatever you want coz I wouldn't bother as it's a waste of time, effort and energy...
I'm so used to being alone... There's been rumours going around. gossips here and there and I just hope that I wouldn't do such thing... Keeping quiet and pretending not to know anything is just the right choice... Why should I bother what others think of me when only HE's opinion matters... I dun wanna be the majority when I could be the minority... Laugh all you want and I'll still stand strong on both feet... It'll be over real soon and it's gonna be a relief not to be working with you anymore... In fact, learning to be independent is the best way... Can't depend on others too much coz it really is a pain when you needed help and they never help...
Each time they need help, they came to you and you'll just help whatever you can... Though some ppl dun deserve to be help coz of their pathetic attitude... Haiz... What to do right... Am living in a world of unfairness and those kinda ppl always get it their way... If only this suffering will it... I couldn't control it can i... Guess I'll just let it be... Not everyone can be friends with each other and like each other... What to do since she doesn't belong there...
It's been long since I last update my blog and soooooOoooOoooOooo many things happened already... Recently was our 3 months anniversary and time always fly by without me realising... We did spend time together despite me being unwell on that day... Felt feverish, having cough and flu... She was in a lovesick state yet when he was next to her, she didn't get any better... She felt his love for her... She knew that only him could make her fall for him all over again... He doesn't have the looks yet all it takes is just a kind heart and a loving soul... He fits the criteria though... Can't find anyone yang lebih sempurna coz a perfect person would make it all too boring...
He's not the type who'd say sweet things and dun mean it... He's not the type who knows how to lie coz I manage to catch him lying if he tried to lie XD He's not the playboy type coz he gets really really shy around girls... He doesn't quite know how to be romantic while expressing his feelings, much more of a straightforward type... He might say such hurtful words but he's just kidding and doesn't mean what he say... She fall for him all over again when he consoled her each time she is in a 'merajuk' state... She's just in love with him... She loved the way he played with her hair... She adored him as he lie on her lap and she stroke his hair gently... She felt like he's the one... She love the gaze in his eyes... Each time she look into his eyes, she could find his love in there...
No other guy could make her feel this way... It's just different whenever she's with him... He used to be someone cold, aloof and naive but then and again... As she get to know him better, she saw a different side in him... He's lovable, caring and just like a small child who seeks attention and gets jealous over little things but never the obsessive or possessive kind... She knows that his love is genuine... Though they say dun trust a person fully while in love but it's just difficult not to trust as I felt his sincerity towards me... He's just sweet...
On that particular day, he told me to go see a doctor but I was stubborn... With him around, I know I'll be just fine but it got worst ;/ We had a good time together... I could feel that he's being serious coz he did ask me a question which I wasn't truly ready answer... "Awk nak kahwin dgn saya?" I was dumbfounded of course... We're still young, surely we do have dreams that we'd like to achieve in life so I just replied "sekolah pun belum habis" He never take that as an answer though... He ask a few more times yet I just shrug... Deep down in my heart, he seemed like a husband to me alr n_n He put a ring on my right 4th finger... the ring kinda melt my heart coz each time just by holding it or looking at it, he's close and the love for him grow deeper and deeper... Seriously, never felt such way for any other guy...
He's like my first love and truly an angel ^-^ The next 2 days, we meet up and he send me home... Weird all of a sudden he wanna meet and when I ask why, he said that he missed me... The way he said that Sound pretty cute... Crazy as it seems but I can't brush him off my mind... He's been closer than ever, in my heart always yet each time I wonder if he's not the one, why would I bother loving someone deeply... Sometimes I do hate myself for loving him too much... Well, it can't be help coz I couldn't find the courage to stay away from him... Just like a drug which gets me addicted all the time and never get tired of the same one and only drug... In fact, beginning to love it more than ever...
Alhamdulillah our 3 months anniversary made our love grow stronger for each other... Many say that it's still honeymoon period but hopefully this honeymoon period lasts long coz I know it won't be tough to stay loyal *winkz* Can't wait for tomorrow coz I've got a date with him and he told me that we're gonna go and get our couple rings... Sweet kan n_n It's alright if she doesn't have much friends but life is alr complete with his presence...
Dearlova...
Hanya dirimu yang berjaya menyinari hidupku... Syg adalah cahaya kebahagiaan kerana telah memberi sepenuh cintamu terhadap diri ini... Syg seperti bidadara yang mahukan diri ini senyum, melindungi diri ini dan memberikan nasihat yang berguna... Syg juga selalu memanjakan diri ini dan menyayangi diri ini seadanya... Syg sentiasa berubah dan cuba sedaya upaya untuk menjadi baik dan sememangnya kite tau syg sebenarnye baik... Syg sanggup menghantar diri ini pulang walaupun dirimu harus keseorangan biler pulang ke tempatmu... Syg suka nahh usik kite sehingga kite merajuk tapi syg pandai pujuk sehingga kite tak mampu nak merajuk lama2... Syg suka tgk kite mkn and suap kite mkn... Syg selalu membuat kite ketawa, selalu membelai pipiku dgn manje dan selalu mengucapkan "syg awk" biler tgh belai pipi kite... Pernah sekali syg ckp "saya rindukan awk" and sandarkan kepala kat bahu kite... Hatiku bergetar hebat mendengar ungkapan rindu daripadamu... Syg telah berjaya mencuri hati ini... Semoga syg takkan berpaling dari cinta kite n kasihmu takkan berubah kerana kasihku dan rinduku hanya untukmu ;) Insya allah cinta kite akan kekal sampai biler2 ehhh syg... Loving u and missing you always dearie ^-^
K lahhh... It's been a long post... I'm outta here...
Signing off
Haneesah
