Haiz... I'm really really really slacking... I failed POA, Social Studies, Bio... I scored 3/11 for Social Studies test... And looking at the red marks, I just felt like tearing the paper... And just drop the subject humanities... I've lost concentration in class... And I realised... I do need some help... But I dunno how to find the time... Life's always busy... And then, I'm gonna be exhausted... And when I'm exhausted, I'll have headache... So, how am I to do well in class? And what's happening to me?
I just felt like giving up... Seriously... Just sec 3 and things were so complicated and it's like... So difficult to handle it... My elder bro is having his ns soon n I have to be independant... Life is gonna be more stressed up... Coz I'll be like taking over his responsibilities? ANd I dun think I can handle it... I'm losing myself... I dun have any confidence in me... Sometimes, I do think positive but the results just don't show... Maybe I didn't work hard enough? Or the effort was little? XD
It sounds silly to just hurt myself... But the pain... I can't handle it... I can't tolerate it anymore... Each time I tried to stand, I fall down... Everything's down... *sobz*
I can't keep it anymore... Every second, my thoughts of that someone keeps on lingering in my mind... ANd as I tried to focus and pay attention in class, it gets more difficult... Everything's dropping... It's like a facade... I just needed someone to talk things out... How am I supposed to go through this kind of life? I know I'm not the only one... there's lots who lived in a lot more troubles than I do... Haiz... How am I suppose to forget that someone and continue my life as per normal? I can't keep in touch with that someone... Coz of... And it really was a pain... I dun regret it... It's just that... Oh well... It's difficult to explain... I dun think anybody will ever understand... And all this feelings is bottled up inside of me... It's driving me crazy... I know I'm weak... I dun have the strength... Feeling so hopeless and helpless... It's like... The hopes and dreams were destroyed... And I can't do anything bout it *sobz*There's POA retest and hopefully I could pass... For social studies, haven't yet add with the assignment I did... So, I guess there's still hope to pass the test... Though pass, the marks won't be as well as I did for the first few tests x_x haiz...
Oh well... Today... From morning till nite... I was at my grandpa's house... Ade majlis kesyukuran coz my bro yang nak pergi ns... Well, as for now, i was damn exhausted... and feeling really sleepy but I just can't sleep... Lots of things to be done...
K la... I gtg...
Signing Off,
Haneesah